MY GIRLS WAITING FOR THEIR TREASURE HUNT!There is a lot of guilt associated with working mothers. We can’t seem to help it. We try to juggle it all but let’s face it no one’s perfect. So we often feel like someone’s getting shortchanged—and if it’s not the job, or the kids then it’s definitely us.
I was very fortunate when my oldest daughter Graceann was born. I was working at the Rosie O’Donnell Show and Rosie had a daycare right in our offices. As luck would have it, my office was right next to the daycare. (Well maybe it wasn’t so much luck as much as it was—“she’s a mom…she’ll put up with the screaming and banging on the walls”). It was just the best—not only for me but for my daughter Graceann. I was able to visit her as much as I wanted to during the day. I could have lunch with her. And on any given day Grace could have lunch with Elmo, Big Bird, Bear in the Big Blue House—just about any of the characters who came to visit the Rosie Show—even celebrities. I’ll never forget the time I walked into the nursery and the Duchess of York—Sarah Ferguson was reading her children’s book to Graceann who was playfully sitting on her lap. Many times celebrities would bring their own children to the nursery. I remember the time Madonna’s daughter Lourdes was playing dolls with Graceann—a sight that boggles my mind still to this day. This environment presented little if not 0% guilt as a working mother. I could actually feel guilty about other things…like eating one too many Twix bars.
When the show came to an end I remember thanking Rosie for the greatest gift a working mom could have PEACE OF MIND…that’s what Rosie gave me for allowing me to juggle a job I love and still being able to be a mom. Rosie told me to “pay it forward”—in other words in every future job I hold…help working moms. And I do the best I can. I supervise some working moms—and I support them 100 percent. Especially in the television industry—I believe that a producer is enhanced by being a mom—they know what “real moms” want to watch. They know our viewing audience. They know what our viewers really want to see.
Today isn’t so guilt free as it was in the Rosie days—I think that was such a special case. As a mom of 5 kids I often feel guilty that I’m not giving them as much one on one attention as I should (Thank goodness for MOTHER/DAUGHTER DAYS…more on that later). I do feel guilty that I’m not with them all the time the way my mother was with me. But today we’re living in a different generation…two incomes are needed to make ends meet. And as much as I miss my daughters—I try to remember something Rosie O’Donnell told me. She said that by me working—I am giving my daughters one of the greatest gifts I can possibly give them. I am showing my children that you can have it all (if you choose). You can do anything you want in this world—and you can also be a mom. Where there’s a will there’s a way. That comment motivates me still to this day. But now back to the title of this post…TREASURE HUNT. What exactly does that mean? Treasure Hunts serve the purpose of relieving the guilty feelings of working. I hide little treats and gifts around the house and then during the day I call home and give clues to my daughters where the hidden treasures might be. The girls get so excited for it. Some of the treasures I have hidden are:
COLORING BOOKS
SNACKS
BUBBLES
BLOCKS
CORN
COLORED CONSTRUCTION PAPER AND CRAFT ITEMS
NEW SHIRTS
COLORED PENCILS
NAIL POLISH
HAIR BARRETTES AND RIBBONS
This is when you make friends with the dollar store around the corner. Every so often I’ll splurge on a more deluxe gift. My girls love it and eagerly await their clues. I think they love playing detectives more than they like the actual treats sometimes. Treasure hunts can also be used as a great bribery tool (yes we need some of those up our sleeves). “If you don’t behave there will be no treasure hunt!”….”If you don’t pick up your room, there will be no treasure hunt”. Etc.
Now I must warn you that there is a downside to the TREASURE HUNT. Be careful…be very careful…or your children will expect this Treasure Hunt game to be played every single day. What started out as a twice a week special venture quickly became a “mom what’s treasure hunt for today?” everyday! And if you don’t plan something the day they spring that one on you—then your plan backfires and the treasure hunt that is supposed to relieve your guilt actually compounds it…and you feel guiltier than ever. So just be prepared that this may be evolving into a daily thing. But remember it’s a great way to stay connected. Also remember to adjust the clues according to age. So 3 year old Rebecca may solely have to look under her pillow while 11 year old Graceann has 4 or 5 clues until she finds her prize.
So just to recap—it’s a fact that Working Mothers are always going to encounter some kind of feelings of guilt…it’s a part of life. But remember…you’re doing the best that you can! You’re the example to your children that yes---you can do it all!....and Treasure Hunts will be there to help along the way.
I was very fortunate when my oldest daughter Graceann was born. I was working at the Rosie O’Donnell Show and Rosie had a daycare right in our offices. As luck would have it, my office was right next to the daycare. (Well maybe it wasn’t so much luck as much as it was—“she’s a mom…she’ll put up with the screaming and banging on the walls”). It was just the best—not only for me but for my daughter Graceann. I was able to visit her as much as I wanted to during the day. I could have lunch with her. And on any given day Grace could have lunch with Elmo, Big Bird, Bear in the Big Blue House—just about any of the characters who came to visit the Rosie Show—even celebrities. I’ll never forget the time I walked into the nursery and the Duchess of York—Sarah Ferguson was reading her children’s book to Graceann who was playfully sitting on her lap. Many times celebrities would bring their own children to the nursery. I remember the time Madonna’s daughter Lourdes was playing dolls with Graceann—a sight that boggles my mind still to this day. This environment presented little if not 0% guilt as a working mother. I could actually feel guilty about other things…like eating one too many Twix bars.
When the show came to an end I remember thanking Rosie for the greatest gift a working mom could have PEACE OF MIND…that’s what Rosie gave me for allowing me to juggle a job I love and still being able to be a mom. Rosie told me to “pay it forward”—in other words in every future job I hold…help working moms. And I do the best I can. I supervise some working moms—and I support them 100 percent. Especially in the television industry—I believe that a producer is enhanced by being a mom—they know what “real moms” want to watch. They know our viewing audience. They know what our viewers really want to see.
Today isn’t so guilt free as it was in the Rosie days—I think that was such a special case. As a mom of 5 kids I often feel guilty that I’m not giving them as much one on one attention as I should (Thank goodness for MOTHER/DAUGHTER DAYS…more on that later). I do feel guilty that I’m not with them all the time the way my mother was with me. But today we’re living in a different generation…two incomes are needed to make ends meet. And as much as I miss my daughters—I try to remember something Rosie O’Donnell told me. She said that by me working—I am giving my daughters one of the greatest gifts I can possibly give them. I am showing my children that you can have it all (if you choose). You can do anything you want in this world—and you can also be a mom. Where there’s a will there’s a way. That comment motivates me still to this day. But now back to the title of this post…TREASURE HUNT. What exactly does that mean? Treasure Hunts serve the purpose of relieving the guilty feelings of working. I hide little treats and gifts around the house and then during the day I call home and give clues to my daughters where the hidden treasures might be. The girls get so excited for it. Some of the treasures I have hidden are:
COLORING BOOKS
SNACKS
BUBBLES
BLOCKS
CORN
COLORED CONSTRUCTION PAPER AND CRAFT ITEMS
NEW SHIRTS
COLORED PENCILS
NAIL POLISH
HAIR BARRETTES AND RIBBONS
This is when you make friends with the dollar store around the corner. Every so often I’ll splurge on a more deluxe gift. My girls love it and eagerly await their clues. I think they love playing detectives more than they like the actual treats sometimes. Treasure hunts can also be used as a great bribery tool (yes we need some of those up our sleeves). “If you don’t behave there will be no treasure hunt!”….”If you don’t pick up your room, there will be no treasure hunt”. Etc.
Now I must warn you that there is a downside to the TREASURE HUNT. Be careful…be very careful…or your children will expect this Treasure Hunt game to be played every single day. What started out as a twice a week special venture quickly became a “mom what’s treasure hunt for today?” everyday! And if you don’t plan something the day they spring that one on you—then your plan backfires and the treasure hunt that is supposed to relieve your guilt actually compounds it…and you feel guiltier than ever. So just be prepared that this may be evolving into a daily thing. But remember it’s a great way to stay connected. Also remember to adjust the clues according to age. So 3 year old Rebecca may solely have to look under her pillow while 11 year old Graceann has 4 or 5 clues until she finds her prize.
So just to recap—it’s a fact that Working Mothers are always going to encounter some kind of feelings of guilt…it’s a part of life. But remember…you’re doing the best that you can! You’re the example to your children that yes---you can do it all!....and Treasure Hunts will be there to help along the way.
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